I Won’t Be Caught By These Brigands Again

Here’s the internet ad:

“Griffin Survivor Series Case for iPhone 4/4s/5
$14.95 USD was $49.99 USD
Griffin Survivor Series Heavy-Duty Protective Case for Apple iPhone 4/4s
Ridiculously over-engineered? Or the perfect case for your iPhone 4 no matter where you’re headed?
We think it’s a little bit of both.
Simply put, the Griffin Extreme Duty Case is the most protective case we’ve ever built.
Tested to meet or exceed US Department of Defense Standard 810F and UK Department of Defense Standard 00-35, Griffin’s Survivor Extreme-Duty Case is designed from the inside out to protect your iPhone from extreme conditions … dirt, sand, rain, shock, vibration and a host of other environmental factors.
Survivor is built on a shatter-resistant polycarbonate frame clad in rugged, shock absorbing silicone. A built-in screen protector seals your Multi-Touch display from the outside environment, with hinged plugs that seal the dock connector, headphone port, hold switch and volume controls. A detachable heavy-duty clip secures your iPhone to a belt or bag strap.
Survivor is independently tested and verified to meet or exceed environmental testing standards for blown rain, blown dust & grit, vibration, shock, temperature and humidity. You can view videos and test results online at www.griffintechnology.com/armored.
Retail Price: $49.99
Condition: Brand New
Compatibility: Apple iPhone 4/4s Models | All Service Providers

Copied (without the pretty pictures) right from the website.

Here’s my email to the company after I received part of what the ad says they’re selling”

To: wholesalefactoryshop.com
“I received this order today and AM NOT SATISFIED.
1. The soft case was damaged
2. There is no holster or belt clip
The add on your website clearly states that the “belt holster” is included. AND it’s included in the product photos.
I have attached photos of what I received.
I would appreciate it if you could send me a full replacement set and a postage paid envelope for shipping the damaged and incomplete case back.
2 attachments — P1010004.JPG 683K P1010005.JPG 1057K”

I sent the email on Feb 12 and the replacement set that I asked for was either not sent, or it was sent to another person who is afraid to damage his iphone, that ain’t me. Nor have I received a response from the horking blub slapdoodles at…well, I won’t even write their name again.

Faithful readers and lower human forms, not giving a redneck the whole thing in the pictures is sinful, but thinking that he cain’t read is worser than that. In fact, it’s more worser!

From personal experience, the Griffin Survivor Series Case is all that it’s hyped up to be. It cradles my new phone like my mama used to cradle me. It keeps my phone from getting sawdust and paint smells on it while it’s waiting on a set of blueprints for me to find it. It sheds water. It is the color of the sky, when looking over your bird-dog’s back at a quail hopping out of a butt-bumping feeding frenzy into flight, late in the evening on a sunny day. It’s soft. It’s substantial. It’s got flaps smart enough to hold themselves back when you take pictures and such.

But, fellow connoisseurs of passable service…it is too big to go in my shirt pocket. And, too big for the pockets on my Levis. And, too big for the several old holsters in my closet from my Treo and Blackberry days.

I ain’t holding my breath for the slapdoodles to get me my detachable heavy-duty clip. It’s been two months.

With no good things to say about the company in question, I suppose I’ll have to stop this post and look on Ebay for the key to my future Griffin-clad phone carrying.

Y’all got enough common sense of your own to stay away from these brigands, I believe.