Sometimes I Wish That My Preconceptions Were Wrong

Faithful readers already know that I prefer Lowes to Home Depot. This has reversed completely over the past 7 years or so. What I mean is that I used to love Home Depot and now my attention is elsewhere.

Yesterday, I needed to replace a worn-out tool. Do any of you become attached to your tools like I do? Do the memories flood into your mind when you notice the blue paint from the ceiling you painted in 2000? Or the chunk out of the plastic housing near the bottom that your grand-daughter cried about when you yelled at her for hitting the electronic tool with a hammer while you were helping your daughter and son-in-law with their first room addition. Or the soldered battery lead that broke and was repaired the same day you sliced your hand open with a box knife? Mine do. I hate it when tools wear out and the memories have to be put in the shed along with all of the other things that don’t work-but that you can’t bear to send to the landfill.

So, after driving to Northern Tool to find out that they only carry it online…not in the stores. I remembered seeing a Homey ad for it and went there. Buzzard Breath was stocking saw blades and after a brief excursion by myself, I asked him to help. He had no knowledge of the inventory in his section. He first said that they didn’t carry Zircon tools. When I pointed to a large display of them, he actually became indignant. I allowed the requisite 1.5 seconds of undivided attention to be polite and then marched off, heavy-footed like a Nazi slamming down my flip-flops as hard as I could without hurting my heels, to the tool rental department where, as I suspected, I found an intelligent and helpful homo sapien. He confirmed that they carry the tool online, but not in the stores.

My wife was sleeping in the car during both of these forays. But when we neared her favorite Publix, she sat straight up and announced that we needed to stop for a few things. Ninety four dollars and thirty four minutes later I shuffled back out and went straight to Lowe’s where I found the tool that I needed (without assistance). Floated in, then floated out-no pain no bother.

Just like my friends two wives that needed to be removed with all the agony, pomp and ceremony of lancing a boil, I have good reason to stop giving Homey access to my disposable income. Common sense dictates that you have an enjoyable experience when you part with your hard-earned scheckels in both circumstances don’t it?